Being Stalked and Targeted

Being Stalked and or Targeted... I am not sure how to translate this action of my experience TODAY. Yesterday whilst attending my son’s Debutant Dance upon returning to my car and getting ready to drive I realized the steering wheel feels heavy and the wheels moving heavier. I get out of the car and see that my right front wheel is flat- which was odd of cause. And upon seeking aid to just change the wheel, I realize that my left back wheel is also flat. In that moment we had to leave the car right there as there was only one spare wheel and not to mention it was late, so we returned home. 

Today when the wheels were inspected we realized that the car's wheels were stabbed with a knife which basically means this particular individual(s) had the time to walk from the front right wheel to the left back wheel unless otherwise done… Now that was a meditated action as there were so many cars parked all over the church hall but my car was the target. 

This evening whilst getting some items from the shop, I drove off from the shopping centre and as all drivers do – keeping my eyes on the mirrors. Whilst driving I notice this white corolla with tinted windows- no number plate that was driving behind me since I left the shopping centre, then it got closer to my car. The next moment, this car was driving so close that I had to drive towards the edge of the lane as they literally tried getting me off the road. 

In that moment I panicked but tried to keep calm. I held on to my steering wheel to keep on the road and just decided there is no way I am pulling off or being pushed off the road to crash into something, I kept straight on the road however I reacted by threatening to push back with my wheel which at least got the other car to move away a little - that didn't stop them however, so I hooted and drove off. 

Sitting here, reflecting on it – makes me realise that this is no different from what I was experiencing during 2015-2016 when I used to be stalked or tracked by different vehicles which always had tinted windows, I remember always experiencing two particular cars that always drove behind me, I remember how I returned to my car one day and found a line drawn into the body paint from one door to the other and a message written “fokken moffie- jou bek", I remember my phone giving signs of being tapped, I remember so much that I ask myself WTF and WHY!!! My oblivious reaction to this experience is calling me to finally be more assertive. I do not want to label why however I wish to understand why this has been happening...

Linda RM Baumann

10 April 2018

19h59

As my body Screams

Wonder beholds me as I lay and think of who I really am and how much I actually know myself sexually…

Embarking on a journey hidden deep within it, all trying to rediscover love for myself- Pain was portrayed a side reality which only I can repaint to create a colourful utopia- 

A world where misty mornings and cooler nights soothe me – I realised that happiness relies on me knowing every inch of my body, a lust for pleasure develops as I ponder how well I really know me.

I undress myself figuratively, I like it better when I’m naked, thoughts of touching myself all over – caress my body and don’t overlook an inch as I instruct you to bow down and submit to my pussy – fantasize with me and find my clit, dive right in and start licking – don’t stop until I scream.

See my body shout all these commands and with the ejaculation present between my thighs I know what pleasures me as I further imagine you to go inside- 

Faster… More- don’t forget to keep your eyes on me - moans enter my mouth as I feel you deep inside me, a feeling I can’t resist as all I want is to let go soaking wet I feel you pausing deep inside.  My body shivers as I gasp for air screaming your name a fire so intense and full of heat.

I know where every switch of my body resides- I understand my body as I figuratively explore my expressions and inner identity because the boundaries that are – have kept me hostage and imprisoned me for so long.

And here I am today able to fantasize, dream, lust, long and advert my imagination into my own epiphany filled with passion and intensity for I own my body with each sensational appendix

Wonder beholds me as I lay and think of how free I truly am, how I know my body, my emotions, my feelings and inner expressions. 

By: Linda RM Baumann

06 August 2018

18h37

Is the notion of gender representation feasible

In reflection if gender representation is a feasible notion, I should say that Namibia has indeed progressed over the years with striking a balance in reaching 50/50 by enacting 50/50 alternating list. Within the political fraternity credit needs to be given to the ruling party SWAPO who made an in house political decision to ensure women recognition in politics is attained and advanced. 

I would however want to further the discussion beyond the recognition in representation as equality and equity are key factors to reflect on within this developmental agenda of gender parity and socio-economic development of all women. 

It’s evident that the extended discussion of deconstructing gender has not progressed thus it is questionable whether the 50/50 list is just not a list fill up as its evident that the broad narrative and concepts of women’s issues are not holistically understood to ensure women in leadership should able to withstand notions of patriarchy and misogyny as their role in parliament and key political positions are instrumental to the overall wellbeing of women in Namibia. 

The survey done amplifies the progress we have in the country yet also clearly indicates that there is a high level of cultural and traditional representation of how men view women and that they (men) still believe that it’s better for women to take care of the children and home- that indicator says a lot of where we still are socially as a country. As a nation we need to interrogate within the framework of equality and equity what the following concepts mean for us in development and that to unpack narratives such as gender equality, gender balance, gender empowerment, gender responsive and gender transformation as these are key factors for development.

I believe it’s time that the women’s movement is rived in the country as back in the days of 2007 we had a very vibrant, proactive and collective women’s movement that ensured social and legislative transformation is experienced, lived and realised by all women. 

By: Linda RM Baumann

03 August 2018

17h49

See Link: 

http://afrobarometer.org/publications/ad224-though-leader-gender-representation-namibia-still-has-work-ensure-full-equality