Sunday, April 30, 2017

Self-identified Gay man survives after setting himself on fire after finding his boyfriend with a woman




Forty (40) year old Kasera (pseudo-name)-self identified gay men from damara location has been in a relationship with 32 years old Dandu (pseudo-name).  Kasera and Dandu have been in a loving relationship for 5 years yet also filled with rejection from Dandu’s family.

Dandu- does not identify as gay however have been a very supportive partner to Kasera over years as their relationship was public. Kasera sitting in his hospital with bandages all over his head, arms and partially in his face. His skin burned, with dry skin roughage shares his story of what has landed him in hospital.

“I have been in hospital since the 14 April, on this particular day I have been waiting for my boyfriend to come home as he had not returned home for days. As the days pass – he still has not contacted me nor has he returned home that is why I decided to go over to his mom’s place to see if everything is okay as I could also not reach him on his phone”.

Upon Kasera arrival at Dandu’s mother’s place- Kasera asked if Dandu was around of which Dandu’s mom extended a message to Kasera by saying “Dandu says he wants nothing to do with you- he is with his girlfriend in his room- I had told you for years to leave my child alone as you taught him this moffie things”. In that moment Kasera says he budged through to go see for himself and upon arrival- Dandu was indeed with a cis-gender woman in his bedroom. Dandu jumped up and shouted by telling Kasera to please leave.

Kasera says in that moment I rushed out and went to the closest filling station and bought a petrol and matches. I rushed back to Dandu’s room and in that moment we had a quarrel of which I asked him why he was cheating on me?  He stood there and looked at me arrogantly - that’s where I decided to pour the petrol on me and lit the match stick and that’s how I ended up in hospital. I have been in ICU for a week and now only feeling much better.

Over the years Dandu has been such a loving partner though he would control my movement, money and association to people. I believed in him however recently he has been strange and more possessive and controlling in actions.

I need to say that I have no regrets of what I did as I love Dandu very much however I know I will never give my all to a man again. And I will also not go through any form of abuse from an another man. He (Dandu) has not even come to see me after dropping me off at the hospital. Kasera’s eyes fills up with tears as he continues to share his story- I have been feeling lonely for a long time, I have no one to confide in nor do I have anyone who support me. I have been relying on myself as my family choses when to associate themselves with me. Being in this hospital and not have anyone who visits breaks my heart.

Kasera is in Katutra hospital, he has asked the doctors to see a psychologist- he hopes that his doctor will ensure he gets to sessions in order to process through all emotions. After hospitalisation support is being sought to ensure Kasera receives all the necessary support to rebuild his life.

Namibia- Katutura 
By: Linda RM Baumann 
30 April 2017
22h10

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Subjective Perception: After 27 Years


Subjective Perception: After 27 Years

Roots, they bind me
Culture, rooted within my faith
Proud I am to be of the soil – of the land of the brave

Namibian child I am,
Pure and gratified
Struggles I have witnessed,
Lived through- unimaginable pains
For today- where I can freely walk in my democracy “Acclaimed”

Or do I? There are thoughts on my mind that I ponder on endlessly
Because for a land so brave and democratic...
So free and peaceful…
I question, whether I can factually say I walk freely in my democracy “Acclaimed”

27 years of Independence as a country-
Here I am still questioning, as I still can’t fathom what it means to reap the liberation accorded to all

The celebrations, the commemorations – have me juggle the truthfulness of who we are as Namibia
The language of freedom, equality, socio-economic development has manifested its subjectivisms’ that clearly violates the values of what we stand for!
What then? Why then, did we watch as our sisters and brothers got whipped,
Lead marches for our freedom just to be gunned down? Why then did we leave our homes?
Why did we experience exile?...

Was the sole purpose not because we wanted to be treated as human beings?
Did we not want to be seen equal to white people and enjoy the privileges they had too?
Did we not fight beliefs and battles to be able to love across racial boarders?
Was the freedom we fought for not for some of those very purposes-
If so and believing the essence of where I hail from I know we faced great trails to be where we are today…

Therefore, I fail to comprehend- when my country shuns me and calls me un-Namibian,
How we could together as a nation repeat the pains inflicted on us by our colonisers…
Within this era of Liberation, I experience a recolonization by my own people

My identity is layered, However I am no different…

As I continue to strive for better, my experience of injustice seems to grow – daily.
As the bubbles brew deep inside of me, I know it stems from me not having any space
To offload, when many claim support systems all ‘round… Mirage- Rather

I, I desire a Namibia that upholds the diversity within our realities
Within our boarders, the realities that advanced the consciousness of our narratives- they that define our heritage
A heritage that has laid a foundation, one our ancestors hoped would create peace, stability and eventually an enabling space that dignifies all Namibians

I anticipate, anxiously for my country’s realisation-
That, I too, hail from the very soil they fought on, for my freedom, for my Liberation…

That I am no different, Though my identity is layered…


By: Linda RM Baumann
19 March 2017

08h25

Thursday, February 23, 2017

I refuse to be silenced



When you have dedicated so much of yourself to a movement and irrespective of what and who says what … The principle still remains that you need to dignify the other person irrespective of what your opinion is of the person… 
I write this because it is uncalled for to again in a new year be faced with individuals and broadly people who continue to discredit my individuality and work that I have delivered over years just because of their privilege and power they carry… 
The fact that they choose to have an exclusive club to work with and if any of those in their club and others are associated to Linda Baumann its a problem- as they also go on the blacklist… and then further giving people false information that they could never face me with as they have grown cold feet to the truth. 
I refuse to be dragged into people’s insecurities in their deliverance of their responsibilities as I remain the Feminist, Human Rights and Communications Activists, whether I am in a formal institution or not. My deliverance of community work has proven ethically of what I am able to deliver within the flaws that every human being has. 

You all have tried in so many ways to bring me down, exclude me, push me aside, turned people and institutions against me but I still remained as there are so many out there who know me for the person. And who understand how to deal with challenges that are being faced- irrespective of what the circumstance is.

I have never thought that this very same people I shared a meal and laughter with will be so arrogant and engulfed in themselves to forget that we have a greater discourse to serve, and not trot on issues they choose not to address. 

I might carry characteristics that do not align to your values and morals however that should not deter us from confronting all issues straight up with no short cuts as I believe in saying it straight up with no reservations. 

I have a track record that not any of you can bypass, I have worked with people, I build people’s autonomy to claim back and keep us all accountable and I shall continue to serve all irrespective of their class, status and or circumstance. 

I am greatly disturbed yet not surprised but very thankful to see what you all are made of. I have remained quiet all this time for the greater movement that we all serve however as human rights defenders … enough is enough… until when should I endure such violations from people who are supposed to uphold the rights of all. What happened to fairness and justice for better future of solidarity in action. 

I believe there is more to life and my cause in this life of mine is to further speak out for those who are and do not have the opportunity to VOICE themselves… I am confident that I shall continue to advance the discourse of human rights with all those who believe in my capabilities as I have a nation to serve.
The time has come… I refuse to be silenced. I shall not be violated any longer and shall not shed a blind eye to what is happening. 

Let’s Talk… Let’s all work together as we need not be threatened by those who speak with critical and radical forms of expression… 

Reflect, Process and Take a Progressive position as we all want to see change. 
Yours in Solidarity, 

23 February 2017
21h19

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Untitled

Two loves, two lives, two more to protect, two more to put in danger, two more to fail
Two more to bring me to life,
Both different, both loved

It's an odd sort of wish that permeates my brain
When I see those who I keep close as a single unit
In my mind, we work perfectly together,
So I'm always surprised when reality ruins it.

Humans are changeable, real
They experience, they think they feel
Humans are vindictive, bitter, unforgiving
They fester, they scheme

With that in mind, I should have assumed how this would go
You can't bind together three different humans without adversity

Before I could even begin pushing the idea , I had to understand
The complexity of human emotion that ran through each of them.

One was calm and unconcerned and used to making their way.
One was experienced yet young and very cautious with the words they'd say.

The two were like lavender, carried on a  wind, strong, lingering, and playful.
The two were vulnerable, honest, kind and ethical
The two were a mixture of uncertainty and low self-esteem

Two loves, two lives, two more to protect, two more to put in danger, two more to fail
Two more to bring me to life,
Both different, both loved..

By: Linda RM  Baumann
04 January 2017
04h15

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Rose coloured glass

Shunted by words and interactions
I however, remain firmly grounded towards my actions

Slowly i reminice at times when "Thank You" and "Your Welcome" were accustomed towards those who saw the need and necessity

I stand and observe, baffled, at the gears that drive desire and self gratification.
And forgotten will those remain who bleed in the light of egos and power

I hold my heart as the thought of us is lost
Me and You who matter
Me and You who suffer
We are lost
We are now seen as commodities used to negotiate a matter that loses us

I bleed internally as the work done and consciousness created is misguided as the face dies
Who befits a journey paved with anarchy and envy
What qualifies extremities brought on by predominate states of minds
Hypocrisy ever so lightly released into the air
Pulling the tides together frequently hoping to create a storm laced with deceit and secrecy

I remain humbled throughout as I pave myself a road governed by knowledge and strengths  only generated by wise words and positive experience
I remain assertive as I hold true what is permanently the soul cause of my existence

By: Linda RM Baumann
23 October
09h15

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

A note of Apprection for Elia Urikhob

Misunderstood, reduced to a placeholder you appear    
The paths you've walked none can discover and many seem to forget the heart that exists within
                                                 
I carry so much admiration  for you at the special place you have created for me in your life, I remember the times when you would give me dollars or 50 cents- how I appreciate the struggle you went through to make sure I have something

So, I see you for all you are capable of, I take cognisance of the resilience you carry.
Every time I hear the song "Linda Linda jy's my skat"  I feel the warmth and love it was created with
                               
Lessons I have learnt... vital lessons that have shaped the being that I am today... I owe to you...I remain grateful and appreciate you for all that you are...

By: Linda RM Baumann
18 August 2016
06h54

Monday, August 1, 2016

The Box

You see me through the pinkest shade of rose colored glasses and I'll never understand why you take them off and never look in the mirror                      
             
Passion  driven efforts glistening, executed for transformation  and restoration  
Over-dedicated,under-rated, emotions expressed but not felt..
I yearn to feel the satisfaction of the road paved with purpose and drive        
                 
Like a pack of hyenas, I watch as you stare lustfully at the image of balance.
Forcing me to realize that the eyes you seek for are blind to your words as though you were writing to blind mice.

You oversimplify complexity and complicate simplicity,

You plant cracks and throw stones as I stand baffled and finding that I confuse the understanding as to understand the confusion.    

But there comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans and walking    through deserts...

I find myself empathising and sympathising to my own word, over  -analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened. But in the end you leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on...

By: Linda RM Baumann
02 August 2016
06h14

Friday, June 10, 2016

Under the Surface

See from birth the world feeds us labels, labels we are forced to swallow and   digest...
Before the air could fill my lungs, before I knew what earth was you decided who I was going to be...                      

See my heart is covered by imperfect skin- it mirrors the beauty I have locked inside my soul
A secret it remains because you have no eyes to see within the beauty I hide    

Once upon a time...

You write my story without any reference from ME
You narrate my experience  as though you walked on the shattered glass with me

Your insecurities allow you to create versions of myself not known to me    
Fallacies cloud your truth as you try and infiltrate mine
You choose to define my being with no reference from me and in turn you judge and redicule who I am based on the assumptions of your blurry vision

By: Linda RM Baumann
17h10
10 June 2016

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Mental Captivity

The native allignment of one's life
Imprisoned and captured by experiences

Experiences once dealt with and experiences left to slide off into the universe

A universe that remains bigger than my reality of life
making me wonder how chained one feels as the barriers of my being is entangled around those who chain me so much so yet I am taken aback as my scars are not healed and my wounds grill from within

Forcefully they try and spilt open revealing my most vulnerable self
A self not known to mankind, a self I too struggle to communicate with

My path I have chosen, equipment gathered, garnished with the attitude that requires rain boots and shovels- showing my preparation and commitment for my new direction

However silently they clip a harness on me one that pulls me back and thrusts me into an environment I'd rather move past, an environment that screams remedy and sacrifice
An environment that encourages old struggles and oppresses the notion of moving on.

By: Linda RM Baumann
18h36
24 May 2016

Monday, April 25, 2016

Stonewall

Simplicity never defined who i was quite well
Complex rather shaped the very existence of me

Fool I never believe myself to be
Matured rather mirrors my precise essence

Roads I've travelled, rough and treacherous they were
Somehow I could always sense the sign at the end telling me to stop walking... That the road I've travelled has come to an end

One thing the rough roads have taught me... Pay attention to detail, be thorough and  observant, because the smallest thing could open you up to a whole new perspective

Wise I wouldn't concur with myself
Knowledgeable rather outlines my true intelligence

 Day and night my intuition, has become my friend...
Like a blind woman I am led by instinct...
Instinct that encompasses all within myself
Instinct that protects me
Instinct that empowers me...

My ears become sharp
My eyes - magnifying glasses
Puzzled I refuse to be

This is my manifestation of ME...


By: Linda RM Baumann
06h47
26 April 2016

Friday, April 22, 2016

Expectation



Every expectation regardless how small, reaches the point where it inflicts sudden pain

Every moment spent longing for the day you thought you had it all, reaches a point where sometimes the future seems pointless

Should have, could haves
Pave a regretful presence
Decorated by questions we never seem to receive answers to

Survival turns us into ruthless marters, assassinating vulnerability and emotion driven actions

Acceptance we wear invisibly around our necks, as we prepare for realities that are uncertain and have no guarantee

Hope we carry shamelessly
For the possibility of the day we have it all, the day the scales lay equally horizontal, the day when fear no longer exists    
The day when we wish to freeze time and endulge the temptation of that perfect moment
So every expectation,even that of perfection reaches a point where it inflicts unforgettable pain  

Pain we struggle to swallow, pain we dismiss ...in the end belief is all we have guaranteed to fill the blurred lines of our future, yet we prey on prayers shaped around a system that patronises our existence-
                                                   
The lines that connect me and you...have gradually faded...faded to the extent that I question the existence of our ties...

By: Linda RM Baumann
22 April 2016
20h09

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

I am ME

I have always believed in being apart of a greater world
So I trusted and believed in goodness
I gave chances, I have forgiven
And still somehow for granted I have been taken

I manage to shrug off all negativity and when questioned for my actions
I entertain them and tell them
to partake in conversation
that would not happen virtually
but physically

Misjudged for my behaviour I remain
Insulted for my honesty I'm ashamed but to myself I stay true and silently pity them for their ignorance

In the end I choose to open their eyes to their insecurities that to me are truly beautiful.

By: Linda RM Baumann
21h00
30 March 2016

Friday, March 18, 2016

Mask

Faces that exist are often masks of people,

Masks that represent the personality of the person carrying it

A mask connected to one’s mind, a mind influenced by its surroundings

Surroundings which start defining the essence of a person because life’s expectations require you to live in a certain way

Yet we remain deceived by those masks because the echo of the voices override the deceiving mask presented and in those lives there are crossroads as humanity is lost and opportunity becomes

Linda RM Baumann
19 March 2016
05h48