The Error

As I accept my GREATEST mistake..
A toil of error tarnished so much within me..
A feeling of helpless hope of making it right as the ache caused inflicted so much within the other that bears no room for reconnection..
A reconnection that is barred by an  irresponsible act that was not conscious..

The reflection of my act and interactions of empathy is core as I bleed in shame...  
Shame that brings withdrawal as I shy away to recoup my inner being. ..

As I accept my GREATEST mistake..
My inner soul has grown to strength as I carry regret yet also have it all fade within the universe as it shall subside with time...

31 January 2014
20h49
LightHouse -Swakopmund

As TIME pass BY...

As time passes by

I look back
And wonder what my world has become
A world only I know is perfect to me
 
Yet the only thing I know is surrounded by the beauty of LOVE
As love is all I know
My space is perfumed with strawberries as the smell sooths my inner being
 
As time passes by
I realize that this perfect world,
Yes this perfect world I claim to live in that holds so much of me
 
And crowds me in so many ways
That all I see is a blurred view with clear images in my mind
This mind that at times fights with my little heart- as my little fist of a heart cries to be culminated with that warmth of just wanting to be.
 
I have come so far
I loved and experienced life
I have chosen to rise as the growth within does not stop me from forever feeling the joys and gratitude of life
 
The feeling not shying away from what passes by and what has passed by before
Those are the beauties of life as life has never done wrong unto me
I chose to live without the limits before me
I sit back and remember
 

As time passes by!!!

 

By: Linda RM Baumann

08 January 2015
16h03
Windhoek-North

 

We both Know

 

I knew
You knew
We both know

I see ...
We see
You saw

Why shy
What should
When it can't

Go away
Fade on
Blur me through

The clear thoughts
That I know
You know
We both knew

I am ME!!!

 

 

27/12/2014 - Wilde - 15h49

The Spiral of YOU

 

The thought of you carries so much reflection of my level of engagement

An engagement of exploration

The exploration that one wonders what that means

Yet your smile arises and blossoms like my favorite black rose that is rare to find

 

The thought of you carries a stimulant

An ignition of intensity

An intensity only I understand

Understanding of ones realities that connects the human soul of its being and heart beat

The realities that many of us can have and cannot get

 

Those aspirations cornered by life’s obstacles

As one cannot fully express

Due to boundaries and personal endearment in comforting oneself from expressing what ones really desires

 

The thought of you carries so much reflection that one ends up appreciating the connections yet distancing to preserving it purity

18 September 2014
14h38
Geneva (Adagio Aparthotel)

As I craft an image of my destiny..
The alligned thoughts are captivated by my soul cause I carry so much love I want to share...

As I craft the direction of my journey I stumble across a number of speed bumps that make me realise the hurdles I face are for a reason and those reason only I can turn and make them a clear road without any detours..

I wish to share whats inside me as many dont understand how much I can offer to better my life and theirs...

The spirals that coils within those minds are framed and shaped by mythical indigestion that fuels and destructs those images and destinations that ought to be achieved by ALL....

As I leap through the learnings of life.. I centre myself for a moment. ..
And that moment... Is filled with happiness and a glass with a cloud that shades lines I need to master to better frame and take on life..
The breeze that hits my skin thrills over and within as I feel my inner intuition...

As I leap through the learnings of life.. I lift up my head to take on life as everything I experience is meant for my reflection of what my life is made of...
My appreciation to life and everything is all I can master as LIFE carries its own assurance for everyone...

I am a learning of the life I walk and live as I embrace the beauty of the universe. .

The Epic Moment

I lift my head and here I see you walk pass ...
I freeze for a moment and wonder if it is what I saw?           
                                                            
I compose myself as cold shock thrills through my body..
The fear of what I am faced with.. Yet the fact of reality is what my eyes can see...  
     
My mind spirals with lots of thoughts yet I compose myself ...
I compose myself as this moment was proof and  inner reflections of how I regard my relations and connection to you. Yes You.

I have endured it all by crafting it all and letting it be ..

But eish ... the lift of my head and the witnessing of my eyes has struck so much in me... and have closed doors and entries of inter connections. .
                              
As I walk this journey of my life...
I shall continue lifting my head as strive to live the person I know I am.. it was that moment...

My Roots

As I celebrate my roots as an African, a child of the soil, a child longing and craving for a better tomorrow...

 

I shy away as my needs as a child of the soil is in the hands of self centred and literal being who fail to acknowledge and celebrate the resources for all...

 

Those who control the system magnify their wellbeing yet many of us feed from the left overs...
                                   
As I celebrate my roots - the pain internally is so deep it saddens me as I reflect and many of my brothers and sistas are seeking for the basic needs yet there is no aid..

 

My Africa... Oh my motherland. .

What have I done... why am I still facing what I am facing after so many years of strides and strives....

 

25 May 2014

Wave Length

The sensation in my body 
Twisted in different forms 

Forms that sheds the wave length 
That wave length that reflects the reality we endure 

Those realities that you and I face 
The living within the discourse of life 

The discourse so segmented that it affects only you and I 

But what about the others ????
Who are those others ?

Stop!
Can you hear that.... !!!

No.. No.. can you hear the echo yet fused in silence

That silence that we present in order to understand what the system expects of me 
Or is it the realities that inequalities are experienced by those who claim power over....

POWER OVER ???

Why ... Oh Why...????

That power ... The power that shapes yet breaks the POWER WITHIN me as the person
The person that longs to be free within and out there

The sensation in my body 
Twisted in different forms 

Forms that sheds the wave length 
That wave length that reflects the reality we endure 

Those realities that you and I face 

The living within the discourse of life 
The discourse so segmented that it affects only you and I 

Flaws

The composition of oneself, the environment and the situation are interconnected

So much that it influences our actions

Those actions that infringes upon others

The violation of not being frank about what one feels inside

The hold that confuses many besides ones inner decisions to overcome

The flow of affection filled with flaws that are difficult to remedy

Oh what a frame of life that holds one due to journey’s experienced before whiles a bright future has arise

A future one knows entails lots of joy and happiness 

Segmented by the crossroads just because of what is seen and perceived to be as is.

My flaws – those flaws are my flaws

The tie of many fears

The risk of uncertainty and gross violation of doing injustice to our hearts

Those hearts that feels big but at times shrinks

All fazed by the amount of pain

A pain that one tries to avoid however paved by many associated lines of ache

The ache of growth clustered in order to remedy the pain, fears and risks

Why – why …

The echo of your voice and actions is all that drives me

My affection and enclosement shy’s away the flow of our reality

That Woman

What is it to be a woman?

Is it to be able to cook, clean?

Do all household shores

Once you start

Expressing yourself

In different ways

You are questioned

Questioned upon

The type interest one has

What type of interest am I talking about?

Interest such as loving women

Irrespective of what the affection it is

What is this affection?

Disclosing!

I am a lesbian

They start giving me lectures

I  told myself

There is no way I allow

People make me do things I do not

Feel comfortable in it

I am who I am

I am a woman

A woman who loves other

Physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually

She was

She’s the one

She was the one I was last with

She was the one I once loved

Cared for and wanted to be with

She always told me

“I love you”

And silently her voice faded

And at the end

She threw away

All our dreams and future plans

She left without saying goodbye

Oh what a fool I was

Being blinded by so called love

She was 

She will always be 

****

The feeling

The heart beat

The beat that heats ones heart

The stimulant that warms up the body mind and soul

The search of wanting to understand the warmth thus fuelled by the desire of wanting to have

A have that wants and signals as a need 

A need to complete the feeling 

The feeling that imprisons me from wanting to feel complete 

Complete in the sense that I know and understand the narration of my life 

Oh The beat that heats ones heart

The stimulant that warms up the body mind and soul

The search of wanting to understand the warmth thus fuelled by the desire of wanting to have