Forty (40) year
old Kasera (pseudo-name)-self identified gay men from damara location has been
in a relationship with 32 years old Dandu (pseudo-name). Kasera and Dandu have been in a loving relationship
for 5 years yet also filled with rejection from Dandu’s family.
Dandu- does not
identify as gay however have been a very supportive partner to Kasera over
years as their relationship was public. Kasera sitting in his hospital with
bandages all over his head, arms and partially in his face. His skin burned,
with dry skin roughage shares his story of what has landed him in hospital.
“I have been in
hospital since the 14 April, on this particular day I have been waiting for my
boyfriend to come home as he had not returned home for days. As the days pass –
he still has not contacted me nor has he returned home that is why I decided to
go over to his mom’s place to see if everything is okay as I could also not
reach him on his phone”.
Upon Kasera
arrival at Dandu’s mother’s place- Kasera asked if Dandu was around of which
Dandu’s mom extended a message to Kasera by saying “Dandu says he wants nothing
to do with you- he is with his girlfriend in his room- I had told you for years
to leave my child alone as you taught him this moffie things”. In that moment
Kasera says he budged through to go see for himself and upon arrival- Dandu was
indeed with a cis-gender woman in his bedroom. Dandu jumped up and shouted by
telling Kasera to please leave.
Kasera says in that
moment I rushed out and went to the closest filling station and bought a petrol
and matches. I rushed back to Dandu’s room and in that moment we had a quarrel
of which I asked him why he was cheating on me? He stood there and looked at me arrogantly - that’s
where I decided to pour the petrol on me and lit the match stick and that’s how
I ended up in hospital. I have been in ICU for a week and now only feeling much
better.
Over the years
Dandu has been such a loving partner though he would control my movement, money
and association to people. I believed in him however recently he has been
strange and more possessive and controlling in actions.
I need to say
that I have no regrets of what I did as I love Dandu very much however I know I
will never give my all to a man again. And I will also not go through any form
of abuse from an another man. He (Dandu) has not even come to see me after
dropping me off at the hospital. Kasera’s eyes fills up with tears as he
continues to share his story- I have been feeling lonely for a long time, I
have no one to confide in nor do I have anyone who support me. I have been
relying on myself as my family choses when to associate themselves with me.
Being in this hospital and not have anyone who visits breaks my heart.
Kasera is in
Katutra hospital, he has asked the doctors to see a psychologist- he hopes that
his doctor will ensure he gets to sessions in order to process through all emotions. After
hospitalisation support is being sought to ensure Kasera receives all the
necessary support to rebuild his life.
Namibia- Katutura
By: Linda RM Baumann
30 April 2017
22h10
