From Boy to Man

Raising children as an out and self-identifying lesbian is an ongoing rollercoaster ride. Many carry a perception that your children are not in a good home environment or that your children would and are being groomed to be homosexual as well. 

Over the years I have raised beautiful children who had to face bullying at school because of my identity and expression in appearance. I could see the pain in my children’s eyes from their lived experiences at school. As painful as it was for me as well l– I carried a responsibility to ensure that they know that I remain their mother and that nothing that any one says should change their opinions and values of how they have been raised. 

I remember when my son was in high school, in his class was a boy who was perceived gay and accused of being too feminine- the boy was bullied throughout and every now and then my son felt great offence on his behalf; until this one day when he unexpectedly stood up for him. The teacher called me to the school because of this incident she explained what had happened and said “Ms. Baumann – As you are aware your son is one of our best learners and today there was an incident in class and personally as the class teacher we have never heard and or seen your son voice himself the way he did- he literally defended his class mate who is teased for being gay” he told his class mates off that day and ensured that no one ever challenges his class mate. 

So in reference of this story, my children had to and still do fight battles on my behalf as I am seen as their lesbian parent while also having to protect all others as the language and understanding regarding issues of SOGIESC is a common discussion within our bonding moments. 

Furthermore my children faced different levels of stigma and received labels of assumptions just because they have a parent who is homosexual and equally members of the LGBT movement have approached them in the hope that they are queer like me. Such attitudes and mind sets need to be deconstructed to ensure that there is a common understanding attained by ensuring assumptions such as these are eliminated as it can and may lead to a greater offence and be seen as discrimination. 

Today I am a proud MOTHER who can take exclusive pride when I see my son raising his own child with the same strong principles, values which are filled with love and care. The bond of their love and the time spent with each other makes me realise that I have raised a man from a boy. A man who is clear of what he wants in life and with such a focused head space- he continues to be the beacon of his own offspring. 

I believe that the Lord and my ancestors remain our total strength and guidance to cultivating the future of our own off-springs and family bond. He is my Son and I believe my late sister Nancy Baumann looks upon us and continues to bless us as she is proud of her own Carlos just as I am.

By: Linda RM Baumann
14 September 2018
15h20