Rose coloured glass

Shunted by words and interactions
I however, remain firmly grounded towards my actions

Slowly i reminice at times when "Thank You" and "Your Welcome" were accustomed towards those who saw the need and necessity

I stand and observe, baffled, at the gears that drive desire and self gratification.
And forgotten will those remain who bleed in the light of egos and power

I hold my heart as the thought of us is lost
Me and You who matter
Me and You who suffer
We are lost
We are now seen as commodities used to negotiate a matter that loses us

I bleed internally as the work done and consciousness created is misguided as the face dies
Who befits a journey paved with anarchy and envy
What qualifies extremities brought on by predominate states of minds
Hypocrisy ever so lightly released into the air
Pulling the tides together frequently hoping to create a storm laced with deceit and secrecy

I remain humbled throughout as I pave myself a road governed by knowledge and strengths  only generated by wise words and positive experience
I remain assertive as I hold true what is permanently the soul cause of my existence

By: Linda RM Baumann
23 October
09h15

A note of Apprection for Elia Urikhob

Misunderstood, reduced to a placeholder you appear    
The paths you've walked none can discover and many seem to forget the heart that exists within
                                                 
I carry so much admiration  for you at the special place you have created for me in your life, I remember the times when you would give me dollars or 50 cents- how I appreciate the struggle you went through to make sure I have something

So, I see you for all you are capable of, I take cognisance of the resilience you carry.
Every time I hear the song "Linda Linda jy's my skat"  I feel the warmth and love it was created with
                               
Lessons I have learnt... vital lessons that have shaped the being that I am today... I owe to you...I remain grateful and appreciate you for all that you are...

By: Linda RM Baumann
18 August 2016
06h54

The Box

You see me through the pinkest shade of rose colored glasses and I'll never understand why you take them off and never look in the mirror                      
             
Passion  driven efforts glistening, executed for transformation  and restoration  
Over-dedicated,under-rated, emotions expressed but not felt..
I yearn to feel the satisfaction of the road paved with purpose and drive        
                 
Like a pack of hyenas, I watch as you stare lustfully at the image of balance.
Forcing me to realize that the eyes you seek for are blind to your words as though you were writing to blind mice.

You oversimplify complexity and complicate simplicity,

You plant cracks and throw stones as I stand baffled and finding that I confuse the understanding as to understand the confusion.    

But there comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans and walking    through deserts...

I find myself empathising and sympathising to my own word, over  -analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened. But in the end you leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on...

By: Linda RM Baumann
02 August 2016
06h14

Under the Surface

See from birth the world feeds us labels, labels we are forced to swallow and   digest...
Before the air could fill my lungs, before I knew what earth was you decided who I was going to be...                      

See my heart is covered by imperfect skin- it mirrors the beauty I have locked inside my soul
A secret it remains because you have no eyes to see within the beauty I hide    

Once upon a time...

You write my story without any reference from ME
You narrate my experience  as though you walked on the shattered glass with me

Your insecurities allow you to create versions of myself not known to me    
Fallacies cloud your truth as you try and infiltrate mine
You choose to define my being with no reference from me and in turn you judge and redicule who I am based on the assumptions of your blurry vision

By: Linda RM Baumann
17h10
10 June 2016

Mental Captivity

The native allignment of one's life
Imprisoned and captured by experiences

Experiences once dealt with and experiences left to slide off into the universe

A universe that remains bigger than my reality of life
making me wonder how chained one feels as the barriers of my being is entangled around those who chain me so much so yet I am taken aback as my scars are not healed and my wounds grill from within

Forcefully they try and spilt open revealing my most vulnerable self
A self not known to mankind, a self I too struggle to communicate with

My path I have chosen, equipment gathered, garnished with the attitude that requires rain boots and shovels- showing my preparation and commitment for my new direction

However silently they clip a harness on me one that pulls me back and thrusts me into an environment I'd rather move past, an environment that screams remedy and sacrifice
An environment that encourages old struggles and oppresses the notion of moving on.

By: Linda RM Baumann
18h36
24 May 2016

Stonewall

Simplicity never defined who i was quite well
Complex rather shaped the very existence of me

Fool I never believe myself to be
Matured rather mirrors my precise essence

Roads I've travelled, rough and treacherous they were
Somehow I could always sense the sign at the end telling me to stop walking... That the road I've travelled has come to an end

One thing the rough roads have taught me... Pay attention to detail, be thorough and  observant, because the smallest thing could open you up to a whole new perspective

Wise I wouldn't concur with myself
Knowledgeable rather outlines my true intelligence

 Day and night my intuition, has become my friend...
Like a blind woman I am led by instinct...
Instinct that encompasses all within myself
Instinct that protects me
Instinct that empowers me...

My ears become sharp
My eyes - magnifying glasses
Puzzled I refuse to be

This is my manifestation of ME...


By: Linda RM Baumann
06h47
26 April 2016

Expectation

Every expectation regardless how small, reaches the point where it inflicts sudden pain

Every moment spent longing for the day you thought you had it all, reaches a point where sometimes the future seems pointless

Should have, could haves
Pave a regretful presence
Decorated by questions we never seem to receive answers to

Survival turns us into ruthless marters, assassinating vulnerability and emotion driven actions

Acceptance we wear invisibly around our necks, as we prepare for realities that are uncertain and have no guarantee

Hope we carry shamelessly
For the possibility of the day we have it all, the day the scales lay equally horizontal, the day when fear no longer exists    
The day when we wish to freeze time and endulge the temptation of that perfect moment
So every expectation,even that of perfection reaches a point where it inflicts unforgettable pain  

Pain we struggle to swallow, pain we dismiss ...in the end belief is all we have guaranteed to fill the blurred lines of our future, yet we prey on prayers shaped around a system that patronises our existence-
                                                   
The lines that connect me and you...have gradually faded...faded to the extent that I question the existence of our ties...

By: Linda RM Baumann
22 April 2016
20h09

I am ME

I have always believed in being apart of a greater world
So I trusted and believed in goodness
I gave chances, I have forgiven
And still somehow for granted I have been taken

I manage to shrug off all negativity and when questioned for my actions
I entertain them and tell them
to partake in conversation
that would not happen virtually
but physically

Misjudged for my behaviour I remain
Insulted for my honesty I'm ashamed but to myself I stay true and silently pity them for their ignorance

In the end I choose to open their eyes to their insecurities that to me are truly beautiful.

By: Linda RM Baumann
21h00
30 March 2016

Mask

Faces that exist are often masks of people,

Masks that represent the personality of the person carrying it

A mask connected to one’s mind, a mind influenced by its surroundings

Surroundings which start defining the essence of a person because life’s expectations require you to live in a certain way

Yet we remain deceived by those masks because the echo of the voices override the deceiving mask presented and in those lives there are crossroads as humanity is lost and opportunity becomes

Linda RM Baumann
19 March 2016
05h48

Wind

My subconscious has become my guardian  angel
I sometimes hear her say

Close your eyes and feel the wind make love to you

I listen and realise how gently the wind cups my face in its hands and slowly graces my lips with a kiss

I feel it's embrace all through my body...sending chills down my back

Indeed the wind is enticing ...so I give in and feel my heart thumping

The gentle tickle it makes me feel takes me up in the clouds and I'm floating. Gravity failing to exist

I reach my core as the wind hits my body as the ocean hits the beach

I smile as I open my eyes and realise that I just made love to the wind

By:Linda RM Baumann
18 March 2016
18h46

I feel your Pain

I see your pupils dilate every time his around
I see how you tip-toe around your words in his presence
That silent chill and thump your hearts makes at every glance he sends your way

I feel your resistance on being away from home as the consequence is much greater than the reward of your freedom
I’ve realised the carefully calculated movements you make
I see bars surrounding your consciousness and intuition- a barrier clearly outlined as I am unable to reach and pull you out

I’ve noticed how he sits on your individuality, suffocating you.
The individuality which consists of the values instilled in you, values that lay down a foundation- that which taught us how to respect, value others and represent ourselves. Values with no restrictions set out that limit us from being who we truly are

As I see your eyes glitter with fear, a piercing strike throbs in my heart that becomes unbearable
I have spoken and we continue to raise the flag carrying the amount of abuse we see you experience and all you can say and do is continuously defend him by finding inequalities within yourself

It’s strange now, how I’ve found myself at a crossroad that points out the shattered pieces within my values of humanity, now that I see and feel it so close to my bones, blood and flesh- i feel helpless as you are not able to reach out and grab my hand as the fear instilled in you has phased out the reality of being happy and feeling love

Despondently, I have this picture in my mind where I see him grabbing your wrists in aggravation, pushing you down and pinning you to the bed- I feel that tear drip down your soft cheek as you look up at him wondering if this is still the man you love
Sadly, I see your look of bewilderment as you notice the cuts and scar his left,

“How am I going to explain this?” You question yourself- realising its too big to hide...


By: Linda RM Baumann
24 February 2016
17h49

Sunrise, Sunsets

Sunrise, Sunsets      

Picture perfect sonnets which melt the essence of rif and misunderstanding
Crystal...water flowing crystal clear-
A mirage your words carry,timelessly

Sunrise , Sunsets      
 
Each stanza, tirelessly presenting the reality of an unbelievable truth      
A truth hidden underneath fear and reluctance
A reluctance commonly shared and influenced by the hesitance to be vulnerable      
                       
Sunrise, Sunsets

Line by line, you sell a dream, more expensive than gold
A dream so calculated, each segment is more costly than the first
Picture,  perfect sonnets you recite,  framed with the jargon only I can translate...  

By:Linda RM Baumann
12h48
08 February 2016  

I want to

May I hold your hand?
May I whisper in your ear?
Would you allow me the pleasure of escorting you to the bed?
May I gently lay you down?
May I lightly kiss your cheek?

I’ve imagined many things, many things I desire from you
I would like to share my inner thought, with the hope that they might become your thoughts too
I want you to undress me- slowly
While I kiss your soft tinted lips
I want you to seductively kiss the folds in my neck, as you swiftly stroke my thigh

I want you to eagerly kiss my breasts as you silently move your fingers over my clitoris
I want you to hungrily suck the areas of my inner thigh as you caress my breasts aggressively
I need you to… feathery… lick my throbbing clit, as I stare deeply into your devouring eyes

I want you to wrap you my legs around your body, as you enter me deep
I need to get lost in you as you get lost in me slowly… I want to make love to you

Sex is overrated when I see you- sex doesn’t make me get lost in you..
Let me in to “You”
Let me please “You”
Now….

May I lay in your arms, as you hold me dose…
May I kiss your forehead as we simmer into sleep

By: Linda RM Baumann
21 January 2016
16h26

I seem to have

I seem to have wandered
I seem to have been in a daze
I find myself, deep inside this maze large
Far from the planned route and path
I was inclined to take
I seem to have forgotten
That girl that brought me here

I seem to have mistaken the setting I was supposed to embrace
Did I skip a step? Did I forget to take the right exit?
I seem to have realized how far off I am
I seem to have acknowledged the make I made
However I still find myself startled by the fact that I walked so far and never stopped myself

I seem to have wandered, I’ve wandered off into this world unknown
A world wrapped in gold concealing the atrocities of life
I seem to have been in daze, a daze hypnotism isn’t able  to bring me out under from –
I seem to be reflecting reality
A reality where authenticity is not written in black and white

So I seem to have wandered far off into this vortex of idiocracy, belittled, elatedness’ and conspiracy


By: Linda RM Baumann
21 January 2016
15h36

My Remains

Torn I am- woman from flesh

Barbarically persuaded into a utopia not knowing it’s a preface of a mirage painted eons ago

Devoured strategically – female to girl placed sacrificially on a podium

Vulnerability orchestrated to perfection

Credulously I cling to a yearning of reaching my never- land

Hell-bent on reclaiming my morality

Hear me, hear me scream

For I remain trapped in this mummified edition of self

Take need when I call out in desperation to be unraveled and redressed

Stop tyrannizing me and look into my eyes

Terminate this ravishment you’ve unleashed on my soul

Take a glance into my eyes and witness purgatory in the making

Wrenched I’ve become at the sight of my remain

By: Linda RM Baumann
20 January 2016
17h43

Voice

I succumb to your word...
I remain submissive

I have no voice....
What happened to your voice
What happened to the opinionated
I have lost it...

Wake up little girl, grow up,
for this world is an evil place
How long will u remain silent, how long will u remain oblivious to that very essence of this world who kicks you time and time again..

Stand up for yourself, for only you know what you are going through
Only you contain the answers to the questions you so eagerly ask

 Rebel if you must, what ever you choose to do
 increase the sound of your voice, amplify it
Keeping quiet brings about peace while your soul rots inside
So speak little girl, SPEAK

Linda RM Baumann- 21h38 - 18 January 2016

I exist

I exist
I am breathing
I have a life
The life that has me wonder
Yet then also leads me to stry into an unknown direction
A direction only I understand and seem the fool as the unknown is fucked up
This life that I so boastfully claim remains untrue time and time again
I breath and exist on its terms
This life puzzles me, I walk, I sit, I speak, I represent and present
Yet these life's performances fools me in this so called existence as the system that claims to protect me yet shits on me- as its formation has been a living lie
I exit by default of the oxygen that enters my lungs

By: Linda RM Baumann - 18/01/16 -07h18