YOU

I have learned a lot through the experiences I had with you...
Engaged in an unwilling battle with people who dont realise I am not fighting back

Growing passion for that which makes my blood pump- my purpose, my truth- sending shock waves of drive and determination through my entire body

Saddened by seeing that which I helped build be degraded and sidelined, all because the bigger picture has become a political spew of who's right and carries entitlement

I have humbled myself in ways I know reflect who I am and what I am working for.
I rejoice in knowing that I exert impact not only in others lives but my own as well...

With every goal achieved and milestone reached in educating communities - I become more disciplined in my personal life - appreciating those around me- operating from my heart, guided by my knowledge...

So I wish them well on the battle field as I walk off -
This is not my fight and it never was!

You and me having a stable playground to inhabit has and will be what I dedicate my lifetime to.

As I bow out and carve a new path - I turn and smile knowing that I have grown 10 feet taller...

By: Linda RM Baumann
16 December 2018
19h38

Watch who you let in your relations of connections

At times I wonder how things would have been had I not been associated to certain people in my life…Having shared so much and survived through storms, we overcame the obstacles and celebrated them all through strengthening our connection. 

Yet, today I reflect on the connections we had and the beautiful values that we shared which reaped great moments.

 However surely today in our lived realities we do not all see eye to eye and yes people change, carry new ambitions but how do you just change in swing and loose the value system that guided a foundation that made you the person that you are and forget where you came from by just navigating a non-existent journey that is seemingly the best but the lack of RESPECT and lack of GRATITUDE is of clear demonstration of self-centred behaviours and complete lines of hypocrisy in humanity.

By Linda RM Baumann

12 October 2018

14h38

Key Note Address by Linda RM Baumann on Operationalising Access to Information to Opportunities for Women and Girls in Namibia

Presentation by: Linda RM Baumann

Feminist, Human Rights and Communications Activist

Strategic Coordinator – Namibia Diverse Women’s Association (NDWA)

UNESCO Namibia- 

International Programme for the Development of Communications (IPDC) Talks in Southern Africa- 28 September 2018, Windhoek-Namibia- 

Key Note Address on Operationalising Access to Information to Opportunities for Women and Girls in Namibia

Good Morning ladies, Gentlemen, Gender Non- Conforming persons and fellow leaders

My name is Linda RM Baumann-Feminist, Human Rights and Communications Activist and the Strategic Coordinator – Namibia Diverse Women’s Association (NDWA). 

Today I was tasked to speak on Operationalising Access to Information including Opportunities for Women and Girls in Namibia with clear linkages to the development of communications.  I will be speaking from an activist lens and through that I would like to reflect on a few factors with a clear segmentation of attaining and affirming gender equality and equity for all. 

The SDGs give clear recognition to Women and Girls as a vulnerable group, further strengthening the agenda by identifying key needs for specific interventions. However, the diversity which exists amongst women and girls remains under represented. This is as a result of many within the diversity spectrum of Women and girls not being recognised causing invisibility within the mainstreaming and integration of these interventions. In addition, rights are realised as key principles of equality and equity in a bid to enhance, affirm and be inclusive of the socio-economic development of all genders.

Reflecting on Women/Girls and the media: Focusing on online and offline Media; the access to information has been a factor over the years as women/girls were perceived to have minimal knowledge and skills which impeded on our performance however, there has been great transformation in ensuring women and girls have access to information as well as the full right to participate in education, political, cultural and socio-economic transformation. 

This has been through the manifestation of a level of fairness and accountability to ensuring women/girls understand their rights and can access information centrally. Nevertheless, this also carries great risks as the safety of women/girls within media has become a concern. Our level of interaction with media at times carries minimal safety and security mechanisms which would ensure all forms of intimidation, victimisation and discrimination are not experienced by the public or the institutions.  With such experiences there is a need to strengthen institutional partnerships and alliances to advance a multi-lateral responsibility for structural advancement and responsible citizenry.

As an activist, when I continue to reflect on our current reality, it is key for us to look at the women and girls from a personal level – we need to assess how important access to information is and how that affects our lives at a social, political and cultural level however the structural element is a factor of dialogue that hardly takes place for women and girls to know the legislative and policy frameworks.  

Realizing gender equality and the empowerment of women and girls will make a crucial contribution to progress across all the goals and targets within the SDGs. The achievement of full human potential and of sustainable development is not possible if one half of humanity continues to be denied its full human rights and opportunities. 

Earlier I had shared that there is a lack of recognition of diversity within the vulnerable group of Women and Girls. There is a need for us to deconstruct and aspire to have common understanding of the concepts of Gender Equality and of the inequalities within that very concept. As a nation we have not taken the time to interrogate concepts of sex, gender and gender minorities as these are key concepts to shaping our narrative of ensuring all diversities within Women and Girls are addressed so that all would have access to information and bodily autonomy. 

Through that it is important to ensure Women and girls enjoy equal access to quality education, economic resources and political participation as well as equal opportunities with men and boys for employment, leadership and decision-making at all levels. 

Such investments shall increase to close the gender gap and strengthen support for institutions in relation to gender equality and the empowerment of women and girls at a national, regional and international level.

Finally, it is imperative that we all know what the identity and expressions of women/girls are, through identifying these we could strengthen the common issues and needs by ensuring our participation and representation in different forums as we collectively work towards transformational development and affirming our own narratives. 

All forms of discrimination and violence against women and girls will be eliminated only when we include and engage with men and boys. The systematic mainstreaming of a gender perspective in the implementation of ourAgenda is crucial.

In order to ensure that all women and girls have access to information and uses the information at a personal, professional and community level it is prudent for us to ensure gender equality is a lived reality and not a reality that represents gender equality as a tick box of a number that strikes a reflection of gender balance. 

The time has come for us all to be gender responsive in all our  work as that lens of engagement would advance equal access and equity for us as women and girls to continue to empower, represent ourselves through structural and social inequalities by being gender transformative. And through using a gender responsive framework, transformation and consciousness shall strengthen the operationalization and opportunity of having access to information.  

I thank YOU… 

Linda RM Baumann
28 September 2018
09h46

From Boy to Man

Raising children as an out and self-identifying lesbian is an ongoing rollercoaster ride. Many carry a perception that your children are not in a good home environment or that your children would and are being groomed to be homosexual as well. 

Over the years I have raised beautiful children who had to face bullying at school because of my identity and expression in appearance. I could see the pain in my children’s eyes from their lived experiences at school. As painful as it was for me as well l– I carried a responsibility to ensure that they know that I remain their mother and that nothing that any one says should change their opinions and values of how they have been raised. 

I remember when my son was in high school, in his class was a boy who was perceived gay and accused of being too feminine- the boy was bullied throughout and every now and then my son felt great offence on his behalf; until this one day when he unexpectedly stood up for him. The teacher called me to the school because of this incident she explained what had happened and said “Ms. Baumann – As you are aware your son is one of our best learners and today there was an incident in class and personally as the class teacher we have never heard and or seen your son voice himself the way he did- he literally defended his class mate who is teased for being gay” he told his class mates off that day and ensured that no one ever challenges his class mate. 

So in reference of this story, my children had to and still do fight battles on my behalf as I am seen as their lesbian parent while also having to protect all others as the language and understanding regarding issues of SOGIESC is a common discussion within our bonding moments. 

Furthermore my children faced different levels of stigma and received labels of assumptions just because they have a parent who is homosexual and equally members of the LGBT movement have approached them in the hope that they are queer like me. Such attitudes and mind sets need to be deconstructed to ensure that there is a common understanding attained by ensuring assumptions such as these are eliminated as it can and may lead to a greater offence and be seen as discrimination. 

Today I am a proud MOTHER who can take exclusive pride when I see my son raising his own child with the same strong principles, values which are filled with love and care. The bond of their love and the time spent with each other makes me realise that I have raised a man from a boy. A man who is clear of what he wants in life and with such a focused head space- he continues to be the beacon of his own offspring. 

I believe that the Lord and my ancestors remain our total strength and guidance to cultivating the future of our own off-springs and family bond. He is my Son and I believe my late sister Nancy Baumann looks upon us and continues to bless us as she is proud of her own Carlos just as I am.

By: Linda RM Baumann
14 September 2018
15h20

Calling upon the Namibian LGBTI Community

I find it challenging to respond to emails from Namibian LGBT persons seeking Asylum abroad... If it is not the individual then it is the local agencies... 

Over the few months more the 7 applications of request to motivate that our lives as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender is in danger and that our lives face brutality from the police, State and families... Now this is completely not the realities we are faced with...

How do I support such if we are aware of the existence homophobia, biphobia and transphobia but surely not the rife image put out there... 

Why are many of us remaining in the country and doing work within our communities and with state? People do not use our moffieness for self gain... Let those realities experienced not be the detriment that casts us all in one bucket... 

May I also ask that those leaders leading LGBT organisations to remain ethical in their support letters and not misrepresent our issues for the sake of opportunists. As for me when I respond I cast the truth as a Proud Namibian Moffie.

By: Linda RM Baumann

04 September 2018

13h04

The Unspoken Realities

The unspoken realities
Realities which have come to validate my experiences
Experiences faced each day yet remain shelved
Shelved in order to avoid being judged and or rejected
 Rejection that keeps one caged right back into those unspoken realitiesRealities which turn to suffocate ones well-being
A well-being that is needed to level inner peace

What then is stopping me from expressing true peace?
Fear? Fear might be the one thing stopping us from truly speaking to our reality
Holding me hostage, knowing that only I have the key to set myself free

My experiences have come to dictate my expressions and my expressions reveal a story so confusing, the light inside my eyes shine right at the pain deep inside. However freedom from these chains depends only on me for yes only I carry the key to my inner peace..


By: Linda RM Baumann
12h52
09 September 2018

Being Stalked and Targeted

Being Stalked and or Targeted... I am not sure how to translate this action of my experience TODAY. Yesterday whilst attending my son’s Debutant Dance upon returning to my car and getting ready to drive I realized the steering wheel feels heavy and the wheels moving heavier. I get out of the car and see that my right front wheel is flat- which was odd of cause. And upon seeking aid to just change the wheel, I realize that my left back wheel is also flat. In that moment we had to leave the car right there as there was only one spare wheel and not to mention it was late, so we returned home. 

Today when the wheels were inspected we realized that the car's wheels were stabbed with a knife which basically means this particular individual(s) had the time to walk from the front right wheel to the left back wheel unless otherwise done… Now that was a meditated action as there were so many cars parked all over the church hall but my car was the target. 

This evening whilst getting some items from the shop, I drove off from the shopping centre and as all drivers do – keeping my eyes on the mirrors. Whilst driving I notice this white corolla with tinted windows- no number plate that was driving behind me since I left the shopping centre, then it got closer to my car. The next moment, this car was driving so close that I had to drive towards the edge of the lane as they literally tried getting me off the road. 

In that moment I panicked but tried to keep calm. I held on to my steering wheel to keep on the road and just decided there is no way I am pulling off or being pushed off the road to crash into something, I kept straight on the road however I reacted by threatening to push back with my wheel which at least got the other car to move away a little - that didn't stop them however, so I hooted and drove off. 

Sitting here, reflecting on it – makes me realise that this is no different from what I was experiencing during 2015-2016 when I used to be stalked or tracked by different vehicles which always had tinted windows, I remember always experiencing two particular cars that always drove behind me, I remember how I returned to my car one day and found a line drawn into the body paint from one door to the other and a message written “fokken moffie- jou bek", I remember my phone giving signs of being tapped, I remember so much that I ask myself WTF and WHY!!! My oblivious reaction to this experience is calling me to finally be more assertive. I do not want to label why however I wish to understand why this has been happening...

Linda RM Baumann

10 April 2018

19h59

As my body Screams

Wonder beholds me as I lay and think of who I really am and how much I actually know myself sexually…

Embarking on a journey hidden deep within it, all trying to rediscover love for myself- Pain was portrayed a side reality which only I can repaint to create a colourful utopia- 

A world where misty mornings and cooler nights soothe me – I realised that happiness relies on me knowing every inch of my body, a lust for pleasure develops as I ponder how well I really know me.

I undress myself figuratively, I like it better when I’m naked, thoughts of touching myself all over – caress my body and don’t overlook an inch as I instruct you to bow down and submit to my pussy – fantasize with me and find my clit, dive right in and start licking – don’t stop until I scream.

See my body shout all these commands and with the ejaculation present between my thighs I know what pleasures me as I further imagine you to go inside- 

Faster… More- don’t forget to keep your eyes on me - moans enter my mouth as I feel you deep inside me, a feeling I can’t resist as all I want is to let go soaking wet I feel you pausing deep inside.  My body shivers as I gasp for air screaming your name a fire so intense and full of heat.

I know where every switch of my body resides- I understand my body as I figuratively explore my expressions and inner identity because the boundaries that are – have kept me hostage and imprisoned me for so long.

And here I am today able to fantasize, dream, lust, long and advert my imagination into my own epiphany filled with passion and intensity for I own my body with each sensational appendix

Wonder beholds me as I lay and think of how free I truly am, how I know my body, my emotions, my feelings and inner expressions. 

By: Linda RM Baumann

06 August 2018

18h37

Is the notion of gender representation feasible

In reflection if gender representation is a feasible notion, I should say that Namibia has indeed progressed over the years with striking a balance in reaching 50/50 by enacting 50/50 alternating list. Within the political fraternity credit needs to be given to the ruling party SWAPO who made an in house political decision to ensure women recognition in politics is attained and advanced. 

I would however want to further the discussion beyond the recognition in representation as equality and equity are key factors to reflect on within this developmental agenda of gender parity and socio-economic development of all women. 

It’s evident that the extended discussion of deconstructing gender has not progressed thus it is questionable whether the 50/50 list is just not a list fill up as its evident that the broad narrative and concepts of women’s issues are not holistically understood to ensure women in leadership should able to withstand notions of patriarchy and misogyny as their role in parliament and key political positions are instrumental to the overall wellbeing of women in Namibia. 

The survey done amplifies the progress we have in the country yet also clearly indicates that there is a high level of cultural and traditional representation of how men view women and that they (men) still believe that it’s better for women to take care of the children and home- that indicator says a lot of where we still are socially as a country. As a nation we need to interrogate within the framework of equality and equity what the following concepts mean for us in development and that to unpack narratives such as gender equality, gender balance, gender empowerment, gender responsive and gender transformation as these are key factors for development.

I believe it’s time that the women’s movement is rived in the country as back in the days of 2007 we had a very vibrant, proactive and collective women’s movement that ensured social and legislative transformation is experienced, lived and realised by all women. 

By: Linda RM Baumann

03 August 2018

17h49

See Link: 

http://afrobarometer.org/publications/ad224-though-leader-gender-representation-namibia-still-has-work-ensure-full-equality

 

Happy 6th Birthday Simaneka Baumann

Today marks the 1^st year that I am not waking up next to my son and holding him to remind him of another year added on his age.  He turned 6 years old and it gets me to reflect on the journey we have walked thus far… Being a parent to a child has not been an easy journey and especially having a day to day responsibility knowing he depends on me.

I have come this far with all the comments, questions and reflections received from people out there about how a lesbian woman can be a mother to a child. Being a mother is not only reflectional of the overall womb expression however being a mom narrates a completely different reality of what a child deserves to have at all times.

I have come this far in raising children who are so beautiful and respectful to themselves and their surroundings that I commit to continue giving you the same values and a better life as you grow through this world.

Nostalgia creeps in as …

I remember having to wait for 8 hours, filled with extreme stress yet excitement of your arrival,

I remember how you brightened and warmed up the family home,

I remember how you refused breastmilk but managed to grow so big no baby clothes would fit

I remember how my nights were sleepless as you kept us awake all night

I remember how on impulse I had to make up a song for you, a song that- until today is so dear to you, to me and everyone else who seeks to grab your attention

I remember how you would stand at the gate and refuse to go in the house as you wait on my arrival from where ever

I remember how you made up your own mobile number and when asked what your cell phone number was– you would say 081 249… and today you are able to share mommy’s number by heart.

I remember all those moments when you decided to be on idols, performing in front of the TV and today you call yourself DJ Sim-sim

So many memories of greatness and sentimentally engraved as we journey through life, know that Mommy will never turn her back on you… Happy Birthday my Boy… #SimaAt6years

By: Linda RM Baumann 

07h09 

22 May 2018

He loves Me but the Bruises won’t stop

I see how he looks at me from the corner of his eye

I can feel his breath so close to my neck, goosebumps start to show

My mind races my heart every moment that passes

Confronting me endlessly about pointless scenarios not designed to be questionable

His insecurities have a way of showing its ugly spirit however that doesn’t make him a bad man

I understand his character and yes he gets out of hand at times but…

I know he loves the being within me that I am too afraid to love

I know he adores me as the only one he wants

I am special to him and that creates fear, unquestionable fear “that the one you love is bound to walk out on you”

We’ve come a long way and he has become calmer as time goes, he still likes to keep me to himself

“A treasure like no other- a treasure I cannot keep out of my sight for the pirates might steal my beautiful treasure” he says

I believe him, though the people around me see it different, I believe him

The bruises stop mattering after a while you know, they become embedded within my skin- apart of me actually

Bruises are who I am – or not?

I too carry fear- fear that one day I won’t be able to stop him, fear that one day he wont listen to me when I yell out to him to stop and that I’m sorry

But my biggest fear is that I wont be able to wake myself up from this nightmare in time…

By: Linda RM Baumann

05h28

17 May 2018